Venting Time

Today really sucked. It was just one of those days. I had to wake up 2 hours early because I had a lot to do before I went to school. Well, i was happy because I did it all and felt so productive. But when I got to school I was informed that I had missed my first period class that i didn't know i had because it's the weird semester change. So I had to explain to my teacher why I wasn't there. Then, I suddenly started thinking of Jackie and decided I was just going to talk to the stupid counselor and get over with it because I knew if I talked about it I'd feel better afterwards. Well I try to get to the counselor when the Dean finds me and tells me that everything with my payments for my college classes are all messed up so that was annoying. So finally I get to talk to the counselor. Well let me tell you it was really akward I've only talked to her like twice. But we basically sat in a room with tons of damn windows while I sobbed and i could see everyone staring at me! Of course this was during gym so I was missing it when i had intended on being out of her office by the end of the passing period. Well after like 25 minutes I calmed down enough to go to my car to get my gym clothes when I broke down in my car for another 20 minutes. So then I finally get to gym class where we're doing this psycho thing and i just don't have the energy for it. After gym I went to government where i had a HUGEE migraine from crying my stupid brains out. Which, apparently I don't have a brain because my teacher told me that the test i studied 3 days straight for like 2 hours each day I got a D on. Then, we had to take a quiz on something I wasn't there for so i probably failed that too. Then I went home where i felt so sick but had made plans to hang out with my friend Ashley and this guy Jim that we grew up with but havent seen in years so it was like a reunion. Well, Ash invited this other girl who didnt even really know Jim but was in our neighborhood and don't get me wrong, i love her but of course her and Ash were so obnoxious the whole time and i felt like I was left to have to entertain Jim which of course I felt so insecure about the whole time wondering what he thought of me after all these years, I mean i'm still fat! And I just felt like i said random stuff that didnt make any sense and he thinks i'm a total crack ass. So that sucked ass. Then Ashley had to be home at 9 so we had to end it early and had the akward goodbye and then I went home thinking that I wish I had not been such a douche bag! And of course I talked to my best friend Jazzy but I can't hang out with her because she left for California today so I'm at home alone at 9 on a Weekend! I ate some things I shouldn't have, not too bad but off track and of course I did't work out in gym so I feel twice as bad!! ughhh :(

And then of course i go to take the weekly picture and i feel like i look bigger. really?!

this has been a bad day. thank you for letting me vent. I'm usually a positive person but I have to let the negative out so I don't hold on to it. Thanks for listening :)